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daily snapple fact #27
A ball of glass will bounce higher then a ball of rubber.

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doug at freewayslowdance.com

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Too many fuckers on campus.

Don't take this the wrong way.

But there are too many people on campus. They're everywhere. I usually stay in my little corner of campus, in my little office, but today I decided to go grab a bean and cheese burrito from Star Wraps at 12:30 pm.

And holy SHIT. People everywhere. I practically had to (and did) skate over several people to get around.

Do we really need so many people?

I think not.

posted by Doug 5:27 PM

To the girls of the MMHS Cheerleading team...

Ladies and gentlemen, my car is spotless. Did I wash my car, you ask? No, friends, I did not. I had it washed. "But Why?" You ask. Afterall, it has been a year, at least, and it's going to rain soon anyway, you can feel it. Well. I'll tell you. Because that's what I do here.

A couple days ago on Mira Mesa Blvd, a girl yelled "CAR WASH" and held up a sign that said "CHEERLEADING CARWASH." I was astounded. Cheerleadering and Carwash is one of the better tandems I have ever heard of, and I wondered what people had ever done before this combination. Like peanut butter and jelly, the two seemed to go together so naturally. I pull in and 20 Mira Mesa High School Cheerleaders, raising money for their big competition, went at my car like white on rice.

For a $5 donation, I sat on a fence with 3 other guys getting their cars washed as the cheer squad bitched about the entomological collection built up on my windshield. The others, all over 40, smiled at their good fortune. As a bonus, the cheerleaders did a damn fine job; the thing is spotless. They even scrubbed the rims, and busted out the stepladders and squee-gees to get to the top.

"Thank you!" they yelled enthusiastically as I pulled out, and they moved onto the next car.

No, girls. Thank you.

posted by Doug 11:18 AM

Mid-Life Crisis? Sometimes it's BADASS.

You see that above? That's my dad. He's not always the greatest of guys, but he is my dad, and I love him. One of the weirder things about my dad is that for the past few years, he's been having what might be (and is) described as a mid-life crisis. He's got a new car that tells him where to go in a soothing female voice. He just built a new patio, has got a new sense of fashion, grew his hair long and then cut it short again and today, fucking today, check out the latest installment.

And say what you want, but that's a fucking badass tattoo. Four straight hours he was under the needle for that sucker, a $200 tattoo.

And I hope when I'm his age, I'm still doing cool shit like getting tattoos. He said he always used to be worried about what he'd think when he got old, but now he's old, and figured he doesn't have much longer to be worried anyway. He said he wanted to get it done before his skin started to really sag and wrinkle.

More power to you, dad. More power to you. I'm not always, but today, I'm proud to call you my father.

posted by Doug 9:00 PM

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