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daily snapple fact #27
A ball of glass will bounce higher then a ball of rubber.

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doug at freewayslowdance.com

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When I was a kid, they didn't have Humatrope.

If they had had this when I was a kid, I would have taken it. Who wouldn't? Being tall for a guy in today's society is essential, and 5' 7" is no cigar. It is, and always has been, one of my insecurities. And if wasn't for Chris Thompson and Alan the Jap, the only two guys shorter than me back in elementary school, I'm positive this insecurity would've been much worse.

I have thought about cosmetic surgery for this. Take a look at the cover of Weezer's Blue (1994) album. You'll notice a couple things. 1) their feet are cut off. 2) Rivers looks like he's sort of leaning back on one leg. In 1995, shortly before attending Harvard, Rivers had leg surgery. From childhood, his left leg had been about 2 inches shorter than his right, and having raked in the dough with the Blue album, Rivers partook in a surgery in which the leg is broken, a vice is attached to both sides of the leg, and every day, you turn a crank which seperates the two parts of the leg one millimeter. The bone grows in that day, and then you turn the crank again, allowing the bone to slowly fill in until you've reached the desired leg-length.

It is painful as hell, and you can get it done in Taiwan for approximately $16,000. I have looked into it.

And now you're thinking "Why? Why would you put yourself through that?" Rivers put himself through it because he had a physical defect. If you had asked me two months ago, said "Doug, if you drop everything right now and go to Taiwan, I'll pay for your leg surgery." I would have done it. I might still do it, though with a little more hesitation.

But if they had Lilly Growth Hormone when I was growing up, it wouldn't have ever crossed my mind..

posted by Doug 10:14 AM

addendum.

oh. really quickly. an addendum post.

more photos, these from sunday the 20th at ComicCon. sorry there's so few, i was busy trying to find issues 1 through 5 of Lone Wolf and the Cub 2100 in the dollar bins.

oh yeah. and fuck you all you doubters! i told you everyone i knew who ate lots of tuna was smarter. here is scientific fucking proof. memory, baby. memory.

posted by Doug 7:57 PM

kobe bryant.

this man used to be so strong. he used to be so proud and tall and confident. remember that? remember the MVP? Remember the championships? And remember the sentimental, proud father who wore his hospital ID bracelet after his daughter was born in January? He always seemed so smart and charming. and now look at him.

He used to be unstoppable.

"I didn't force her to do anything against her will. I'm innocent. I sit here in front of you guys furious at myself, disgusted at myself for making a mistake of adultery" Then, turning to his wife he said as tears streamed down his cheek, "You're my backbone. You're a blessing. You're a piece of my heart. You're the air I breathe. And you're the strongest person I know and I'm so sorry for having to put you through this and having to put our family through this."

i remember this story about chuck berry, how he used to carry around a polaroid camera and before he would sleep with anyone, he would ask them to strip, and he would take a picture of the two of them with their arms around each other smiling.

kobe doesn't have anything like that. and for the prosecutors to take this case so far, they have to have something big. it's going to be a lot of credibility bashing, and looking for other things, like was her clothing torn? was he bruised, was she bruised? i read that 3 weeks after the fact, she still has some physical reminders of their encounter.

i don't know who to believe. Kobe seems like such a nice guy. Is the accuser a gold digger? she did try and commit suicide in May. Looking for fame and fortune, a book deal? Or is that the stigma that society has placed on rape victims as a whole, that it's somehow their fault?

I guess Coach Jackson put it best: "Kobe is entitled to the presumption of innocence, a hallmark of our legal system, and judgment must occur within the Colorado courtrooms."

Who do you believe?

posted by Doug 7:29 PM

the con post.

some of these photos are blurry. for those of you who don't know, the san diego comic-con is the world's largest comic convention. on saturday, they have a costume masquerade at night. the entire thing is a massive celebrity riddled consumer-marketing merchandising explosion. it looks like the physical manifestation of saturday morning cartoons vomitted into a convention hall.

and it is fantastic.

CLICK HERE TO VIEW THE SLIDESHOW.

posted by Doug 12:13 AM

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