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daily snapple fact #27
A ball of glass will bounce higher then a ball of rubber.

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doug at freewayslowdance.com

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an eventful day.

a lot happened today. a WHOLE lot. i'll do a quick review, and then i'll talk about one of them, because right now, i don't particularly want to go over it all right now.

1. failed driving test third time, subsequently lost shuttle job.
2. got back to car, car wouldn't start, called AAA had them fix it.
3. got home, ate lunch. tuna. i am no longer a vegetarian.
4. drank a lot.
5. went grocery shopping. bought cigarettes too. i do not smoke, though.
6. watched legally blond. laughed a lot. felt guilty about laughing a lot.

alright. so. #3. sorry. maybe we should make this look more official.

a vegetarian no longer.

i can no longer say i'm a vegetarian. why? because i had tuna today. and i know what you're thinking? you're thinking "doug. you've been a vegetarian for three years now, why have you suddenly stopped not eating meat?" and i'll tell you.

i have met three people in my life who eat copious amounts of tuna religiously. anthony pecos, a fine actor and a great guy who recently graduated. and a navy seal at a party, whose name currently escapes me. and i've always thought "man, they were great guys." and i always thought maybe it was the fact that they eat tuna constantly.

the thought finally got to me enough today that i bought hordes of tuna. vons brand and chicken of the sea brand and yes, geisha as well. albacore and chunky and light. i bought lots and lots of tuna, taking great care only to buy "dolphin safe" tuna. i downloaded a recipe for a tuna melt from AllRecipes.com, contacted a friend to ask how one goes about broiling things, and made myself a tuna melt.

and you know what? it doesn't taste as bad as it smells. granted, having not eaten meat in three years or so, it didn't exactly sit pretty, but i managed to keep it down. i hope once i have it regularly and get a more constant supply of omega-3 fatty acids, i will be smarter, more fit, and more charming. this is my big plan, guys.

step one: eat lots of tuna.
step two: be smart because of lots of tuna.

(para)quote, michelle: "funny. i choose what i eat based on whether or not i like how it tastes."

posted by Doug 10:33 PM

oh holy cow.

you know how sometimes somebody asks you to do something and you think "yeah. um. that works." and then you suddenly realize you can't do it, after you tell them you can? man, that blows. i'm supposed to cover a shift on saturday in El Cajon and i thought "geez. wasn't there something i was supposed to do?"

I'M GOING TO COMIC-CON. I just figured it out. and i told them i could, but you know what? fuck that. i'll have to cancel on them. and i feel super bad, because i know they're very hard up for people. every manager in the district is moronic and have understaffed their stores, so we end up having to cover all of their shifts. i know the girl that will have to cover it too, and she's a sweetheart and all, and has finals and all. but um. shrugs. that blows.

if i were her, i would say no. can't do it. just can't. find somebody else. close the store down. she shouldn't have to work that day, she shouldn't have to care. if you're paid $8.25 an hour, i'm sorry, but you are not paid well enough to care.

posted by Doug 11:09 PM

ownage, bitch!

last night, i returned from the closest resemblance to a LAN Party i've attended in the past 3 years perhaps not in triumph, but at least proud. Yes, 8 guys in a room with two XBoxes and Two TVs handing out the whoopass playing Halo. now, i've never been the best at these games, or hell, even the second or third best. i'm usually just around the average, possibly slightly below. sometimes i'm absolutely owned. but there's usually one game when i impress the hell out of everybody else.

that moment came last night when, playing defense on Capture the Flag, I died a scant 20 times when everyone else's frag count hovered between 50 and 80, and still managed to place third on the kill count list with 60-some odd kills. i cleaned house, even capturing a flag and scoring once. those fuckers would run up the hill and round the corner with such confidence in their gait and i would cleanse the confidence out of their heads with a butt to the back of their heads with the saddle of my pistol. then i would swivel around take out their buddy with a grenade and maybe a shotgun blast for good measure. they couldn't touch me. i had 4 killing sprees.

yes, my friends, i was badass.

take that all you cocky inverted y-axis motherfuckers.

posted by Doug 11:59 PM

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